Since becoming chronically ill, I have found January one of the hardest times for finding my personal rhythm. No matter what I do I feel somehow out of step, and not in the “dancing to her own drum” kind of way. It’s more like I am new to this country and haven’t quite figured out the language and customs. I could look at it logically and say it is part of the recovery from the extra holiday exertion, but it goes deeper than that.
When January rolls around there is too much food stored away to bake. And let’s face it, come January most people don’t want to even look in the direction of baking. I even have trouble reading new recipes with much interest. Part of our holiday tradition is to have appetizers on Christmas eve (and New Years Eve). As a matter of protocol when we prep any freezeable appetizers that can be eaten as a meal, we make enough to freeze. This is incredibly handy because when you are lagging in energy but craving good food, its only a trip to the freezer away; the downside of this is that as we have come to rely on these cheat meals, grocery selection is rather slim. This all throws me off step because I bake/cook whenever physically possible because it calms me.
What calms me beyond baking? Gardening, painting, reading, watching tv/movies, and walking the dog. Unfortunately, much like baking, all of these things are thrown off kilter in the month of January. Obviously it is too early in the year to garden and too cold and slippery to walk the dog. Without these releases my already fragile focus make reading anything of length kind of impossible. January tv starts with reruns so there is no respite there. Being unemployed, I have no way to pay for movie rentals (Before you suggest it, yes, at this stage even Netflix is a luxury I cannot afford).
Before you try to get all clever and suggest painting, I want to tell you about my January vice. Magazines and advertisers would have you believe that the only focus of a plus sized gal in January would be her new diet and or exercise program. I am, apparently, the exception. My focus is best described as nesting. I want to make all of the rooms pretty. I want to buy new accessories and organize the old ones. So when I look at painting in January I see the potential for mess first and the art second. Horrible, I know. Feeding the urge to keep things pretty and organized, I will only paint when I have the time/energy to clean up properly when I am done.
As the month goes on I slowly start up in the kitchen. If all goes well tomorrow I will make muffins. As we all know muffins are a gateway food; they can lead to other hearty foods like biscuits, soup and fresh bread, or they open your sweets pallet to pound-cake, cupcakes and tarts.
